An Eternal Mistake
by mskenzieclearwater
Summary: Bella Swan is miserable after Edward leaves. She attempts to kill herself, but doesn't succeed. She lives with the Cullens after the death of her Dad, and finds out a new lust. Carlisle is the one she wanted, not Edward.
1. Accidents

Preface

I was suddenly running from something, something that was most likely trying to kill me. I was wrong. The thing was Edward. He was running, and he suddenly caught up. He swept me up off of my feet and held me. Our faces came closer together, and I realized something. It wasn't Edward's face. It was Carlisles. I realized what had happened. Edward wasn't the one I truly loved. It was Carlisle. Carlisle was the one, but he was untouchable.

1. Accidents

I dreamed about Edward every night, hoping that he would come back. He never did. I walked around like a drunk, trying to figure out where he could be... why he had left. I found nothing. On Thursday afternoon, I found myself driving to La Push after school. I didn't want to see Jake, I wanted to do something reckless. A small part of me wanted to die, to leave the pain behind. Never have to deal with it again. I also knew that there was no chance of Edward coming back now. I would most likely live like this forever. Jacob would probably fall for some girl in his school. He would leave me behind gasping for air, falling apart even more. What would be my resort then? Mike Newton? I shuddered, thinking about that. Isabella Marie Newton. I almost swerved off the road. It would be even worse than Edward never coming back, and I was always on Jessica's bad side. I didn't need to inch myself closer to getting murdered by her.

My head spun as I thought of what to do. I could jump off the cliff, stand in the middle of the road and wait to get hit by a semi truck. Those were both too risky, it would take too long. I would have time to change my mind. Before I had a second thought, I decided. I would wreck the truck. I would wrap the truck around a tree, it would be an instant death. I wouldn't feel any pain. I wouldn't miss Edward any longer.

"No, Bella!" Edward. He was speaking to me again. In my thoughts, at least.

"Edward." I sighed, aloud.

"Don't do it!" He growled.

"Yes. You've caused me pain, Edward. I can't stand it any longer."

"No!" He screamed as I accelerated.

I closed my eyes and swerved off the road. My last thought, before my forehead hit the horn. Before the glass splintered my head, before I took my last breath.

"I love you, Edward."

I awoke in a small room. I was laying in a bed, a blanket wrapped around me. A cold, solid hand gripping my battered one. I moaned as the searing pain hit me, My head was wrapped into something, my eyes were almost swollen shut.

"Bella." Someone said.

It wasn't Edward. I realized the voice somewhere, I tried to connect it with someone. I looked closer to my left, a man was sitting there. Golden hair, deep golden eyes.

"Carlisle." I sighed.

His eyes looked weary, his hand gripped mine tighter. I laid my head back on the pillow and glanced around the room more. I was at the Cullen's house, in Alice and Jasper's room. The furniture was moved to one wall, I was in a hospital bed. There was no other noise in the house but my ragged breathing.

"How long have I been like this?" I forced out.

"A week." Carlisle seemed to choke out.

I tried to wrap my head around it, Jake was probably worried sick. And then I realized. Carlisle. Carlisle was here. Where was Edward?

"Where... Where's Edward?" I asked.

"He went to the Volturi." Carlisle whispered.

I gasped and snapped my head up, sitting up at the same time. Bad mistake, my body ached worse than I could imagine. I groaned and laid my head to the pillow.

"The Volturi?" I tried to say.

"Bella, Edward's... dead."

"What? He can't be? Why? What kind of sick joke is this Carlisle?"

"Bella, this isn't a joke. Edward went to the Volturi to die. They killed him. Alice saw what happened, our whole family found out. Edward read her mind. He's gone."

Carlisle removed his hand from mine and stood he brought his face close to mine.

"Bella, honey. I'm sorry. I know how much he meant to you. If he knew you lived... None of this would have happened."

If I lived. If I wasn't stupid and reckless. If I wouldn't have wrapped my truck around a tree, nearly amputating one of my legs.

"Carlisle..." I said.

The tears streamed down my cheeks, My head started to pound, my whole body revolted against me and shot pain at me. I wanted to scream, I wanted Edward. I wanted to erase this pain.

I had only made it worse.

Carlisle got on the bed and sat by me, holding my hand and wiping the tears away with his other. I cried myself to sleep as the hole in my chest grew. It grew larger and my breath shortened. I should be dead. Edward should be alive.

"Are you kidding?" Someone said. I realized the voice right away, Alice Cullen.

I pretended like I was asleep. My eyes stayed shut, but my ears were alert. She talked fastly into the phone, i could hear the worry in her voice. Someone else had been hurt.

"Charlie? A boating accident? Come on Carlisle!" She almost shouted, "Bella has gone through enough already! I mean, Edward's gone, she's almost died... and now her own father?"

Charlie. He had gone on a trip with Billy Black, Harry Clearwater, and Sue Clearwater last week. It was a three-week fishing competition a couple miles away from Forks. The winner - the person with the biggest catch - brought home ten thousand dollars. I snorted when Charlie told me about it, what was he going to buy here? The houses ranged from shacks to what we lived in... besides the Cullen's house. There were a few expensive houses here and there... hidden behind the trees, but Charlie wouldn't get enough for that. Maybe he would buy himself a new car and ditch the police cruiser.

My thoughts strayed back to the accident. Was Charlie dead? Sue? Billy? How would Seth and Leah manage without their mother and father? What about Jacob? Billy was the only family he had left besides his sisters, and I couldn't see Jake leaving La Push. The Cullens would have to take in some smelly werewolves. And one appetizing human. I chuckled a little, Alice and the rest of the Cullens heard me. They all appeared in the doorway. I was surprised that they hadn't attacked me yet... Carlisle probably cleaned up all of the wounds before they came back.

"Bella?" Rosalie asked.

"Yeah?" I croaked.

I was surprised that she was talking to me. She probably had something to do with Edward's... death. All of the Cullens glanced nervously to each other. None of them wanted to break the news to me.

"What happened to Charlie?" I asked as Alice stepped forward, grabbing one of my hands.

"Carlisle was working at the hospital today, he saw them. Charlie, Billy, Harry, and Sue." She looked down to her feet.

"Sue was the only survivor." Esme said, just loud enough for my ears to hear.

"What?" I shrieked.

"Bella, I'm sorry. I worked on them the best I could. I tried every technique." Carlisle almost whispered as he walked in.

I burst out in tears. Alice had her arms around me, mumbling something like "You've had such a hard time!" I ignored it. I didn't want to think about Edward, Charlie, Billy, Harry, or Sue. I wanted to sleep. I hoped Carlisle would give me an overdose by accident and kill me. I wanted this unbearable pain to end.

One Year Later

It had been one year since Edward's death. We held a funeral for him, he was 'buried' in an ancient cemetery about two miles from the Cullen's house. We held a private funeral, only the Cullens, the pack, and the Denali Coven came. Charlie was buried next to the rest of the Swan family - that had been dead for almost ten years, in a cemetery near Seattle. He was buried next to Gran. I shuddered, remembering the dream I had so many months ago. Renee cried buckets, Phil comforting her. I tried to sooth Seth Clearwater when his dad was buried. Leah would sit on someone's gravestone a couple feet over, and look away. They were buried in La Push, in view of the ocean. The final funeral was for Billy Black. I saw a few tears streak down Jacob's face. He broke down once he got to his house, the wheelchair sitting alone in Billy's old room. I started crying, too. Jacob's sisters were hysterical. I stayed away from them, they wouldn't let anyone try to comfort them.

It was now May, summer was coming too soon. I didn't have any plans, though. The Cullens gave me Alice and Jasper's room. I refused to stay in Edward's, I didn't want to be reminded of him as I slept. Alice wanted to redecorate... so I told her to have a blast. The one thing I insisted on keeping was the bed and the blankets that came with it. I curled up with it some nights, when I wanted to remember... but when I didn't, there was always a spare blanket laying around somewhere. I tacked a few pictures up on the wall - A few of me and Jacob, charlie, and a couple of my school friends. There were only two of Edward. One was a picture of him and I walking into prom, I laughed every time I saw it. My cast was secured tightly on my leg, I looked like I was about to topple over onto Edward, but he had a good grip on me. His eyes were looking over, into mine, as a frustrated look appeared on my face. The person took the picture at the right moment, his crooked smile was etched perfectly on his face. You could even see the golden tint to his eyes if you looked close.

The second picture was actually found by Alice. She told me where Edward had hidden all of my things. The CD, the airplane tickets... everything. Under my floorboards. I cursed myself out when she told me this, everything had been with me all along. Edward didn't take a thing from me, but himself. It was all there, in my reach. But I was too stupid to find it. The picture was hanging above my dresser, I looked at it every morning, and remembered the moment. Alice had taken it during my birthday party. Edward was leaning over, kissing me on the cheek as I looked up and smiled at him. It was by far my favorite picture. I couldn't stand to look at it.

"Bella!" Alice called.

"Yeah?"

"We're going to play some baseball today, wanna come?"

"Not really, Alice. I just want to hang out around here.

"Ok. Carlisle's staying, too. He's got some work to finish up, so he'll probably stay in his office."

"That's fine. You guys have fun."

"We will." Alice grinned and turned to walk out.

"Wait, Alice." I said.

"Yeah?"

"If someone doesn't loose more baseballs than Emmett, I'm going to throw a fit."

She laughed, along with everyone else downstairs. Nobody had laughed like that, including me, in a long time.

I walked over to my dresser, in search of something to wear. It was only about nine in the morning... and that was early to me. I would be at school, but Mrs. Cope agreed to talk to the principle

and see if I could go ahead and see if I was eligible to graduate. I scored above an eighty on all of the tests, mostly help from Carlisle, Alice, or Emmett. They would sit and help me figure out the problems I couldn't figure out. I decided on the first two things I touched, some loose – fitting jeans and a cream colored tank top. Alice would probably kill me for wearing something "un-fashionable and a disgrace to the world." That's what she said every time. I sighed and walked down the hall to talk to Carlisle. I hoped he wasn't busy, seeing that he was the only company I had now, everyone had already run off to the clearing. I could call my mother... But every time I did, she questioned my choice for staying in Forks rather than going to live with her.

"Hey, Carlisle." I said.

He was standing in the middle of the hallway, staring at the old wooden cross. I remembered what Edward told me the first time I came to the house.

"Hello, Bella," He looked to me and smiled, "How are you today?"

"I'm fine. A little sleepy. You?"

"If vampires can get headaches, then that's how I am." He chuckled.

I laughed along with him as his eyes darted back to the cross.

"Do you miss him? Your dad?" I asked.

"Sometimes I do. I still don't agree with his ways, though. Killing careless people on the streets if they had one slight characteristic of what he thought a vampire was. It's just not right. Although, nobody really knew what the vampires really looked or acted like... I'm sure I made the mistake a few times, also."

"Everyone has to make mistakes sometime in their life." I shuddered, thinking of what I had done.

"I'm sorry Bella. I couldn't have saved Edward... he just made the ultimate decision, to end his life. He truly did love you, you know."

"If only I could tell him the same, now."

Carlisle put an arm around me.

"Someday you'll be reunited. Someday, Bella."

We stood in silence for a moment, both of us looked back to the cross. Maybe there was a slight bit of hope.

"Does that mean that I'll never have a chance of being immortal?" I asked.

"You still want to?" He asked.

"Sure. I mean, I don't have any limitations now. Edward's not here to... stop me. I won't have to worry about Charlie. Renee isn't too worried about me now."

"I suppose we could, Bella. What about Jacob? You haven't heard from him in a long while. And the treaty is still there. We can't bite humans."

"I forgot about that." I mumbled.

"There has to be a loophole somewhere along the path, Bella."

"There has to be." I repeated.

He brought his arm off of my shoulder and smiled, turning to his office.

"I have to finish up a paper, then we can go talk downstairs," He grinned, "I'll make you some lunch today."

I nodded and walked downstairs, he would probably be finished with the paper in about a minute or so, considering what he was writing about he probably already knew. No research needed. That must be nice. Sure enough, he was down in about two minutes.

"So, Chinese? Italian?" He asked.

"Definitely Chinese." I grinned.

"Alright. Lets see... We've got orange chicken, egg-rolls, rice, and shrimp."

"Perfect."

I watched as Carlisle cooked everything. I offered to help, but he wouldn't let me. The meal was done in about thirty minutes, right as the storm started to get bad.

"Looks like its really picking up." I said as I turned to watch the rain thrash against the glass walls.

"It does look pretty bad." Carlisle said.

He filled my plate with rice, orange chicken, egg rolls, and shrimp. It looked delicious.

"Are you going to eat any?" I joked as he put the plate in front of me.

"Sure, I'll try some." He laughed.

"Carlisle, this is wonderful." I complimented as I took a massive bite.

"Thanks." He grinned and pulled the chair in front of me out, then sat in it. I heard a loud boom outside.

"Bet that was Emmett." I said.

"Probably. That was extremely loud."

I finished my food and got up, taking the plate to the sink and washing it off. I made sure to put it in the right spot, so Esme wouldn't have any extra cleaning to do. She constantly cleaned when she wasn't reading or talking to anyone. I helped her out most of the time, to keep myself busy, but she could have even Emmett's room cleaned up in about two minutes. That was a record. Carlisle moved to the living room, so I followed him and clumsily sat on the couch beside him.

"Any movies you would like to see?" He asked.

"Your choice, Carlisle."

"Alright. Hmm... I've seen the classics about a dozen times already. How about this one?"

"Sure, it sounds good."

We settled for a documentary on the earth, and all of its living things. It seemed boring at first, but I soon got involved with it. I could tell that Carlisle knew about all of it, because he sat and pulled at strings on his shirt the whole time. He was very under-dressed today, I had never seen him in a pair of jeans. He was probably taking a day off from his usual clothes, considering Alice was probably going to be gone for a couple more hours. Half way through the movie, I fell asleep.

I was suddenly running from something, something that was most likely trying to kill me. I was wrong. The thing was Edward. He was running, and he suddenly caught up. He swept me up off of my feet and held me. Our faces came closer together, and I realized something. It wasn't Edward's face. It was Carlisles.

"Bella?"

"What?" I gasped as I woke up.

"You fell asleep... you were jerking around and muttering something." Carlisle said.

Suddenly, I felt the hole in my chest reappear. For the past eleven months, I had patched it up piece by piece. It broke open then, sending me to tears.

"Bella, honey. What's wrong?" Carlisle urged.

"Edward... he was there, in my dream. But it wasn't him. It was..." I sobbed.

"Who?"

I decided I was going too far. Carlisle hugged me and I buried my face in his shoulder, soaking it with my tears.

"Shh, Bella. It's ok." He said.

I sat like that and cried for at least an hour. Once I lifted my head up, Carlisle was looking at me with worry in his eyes. I suddenly realized. Edward wasn't the one I truly loved. It was Carlisle. Carlisle was the one, but he was untouchable. He already had Esme. I couldn't tell anyone about this strange dream, it would ruin everything.

"Who was in your dream, Bella?" He asked again.

"Jacob." I lied.

"I'm sorry, honey. Everything will be fine. Just go get some rest, sleep it off. You'll be fine."

I stood up along with him and hugged him.

"T-thanks, Carlisle." I stammered.

"Your welcome." He whispered.

He couldn't see the look of terror on my face as my heart beat sped up in my chest. I hoped he didn't notice.


	2. Awakening

2. Awakening

"Hey, It's Grace!" Emmett called, pointing at me.

"Shut up, Emmett. I'm not in the mood."

"Aw, who made Bella mad today?" He asked.

"Right now? You. Go away."

I was sitting outside, a cool mist covered me as I sat on a small tree trunk a couple feet out of the stream that ran trough the woods. Emmett probably heard me crying, and came over to cheer me up. It was a little too obvious that his idea of "Cheering up" was making fun. I looked over to him nonchalantly as he sat on the wet ground besides the trunk. His skin sparkled dimly as the clouds moved above to let a small ray of the sun show through. He was more clothed than I had ever seen him, in a sweatshirt and jeans. He even had a pair of Converse on. Rosalie was off hunting with Alice, so he didn't have any showing off or fighting, to do with either of them.

I slid off the trunk and sat besides him, resting my head on his shoulder. He put an arm around me and chuckled. I liked talking to Emmett when he was more serious. He was like my older brother, I could tell him anything and he would make sure that his lips were sealed. If I didn't act serious, he would go joke about it and make fun of me.

"What's up, Grace?" He asked.

Emmett called me Grace all the time. I wasn't sure if he just like the name, or he called me that because of my clumsiness.

"Just problems, Emmett."

"What kind?"

"The bad kind."

"Oh. Those really suck. I get into those with Rosalie all the time."

"Emmett. I mean, I've got a huge problem, ok? Not some debate on smashing the house or not."

"Hey. Rosalie and I smash houses with pure-"

"Emmett." I growled.

"It's true!"

I rolled my eyes as we sat in silence for a few moments. I snuggled closer to him, he was the closest thing I could get to Edward...

"So, what's wrong?"

"I..." I hesitated. "I'm kind of... in love."

"Whoa!" He released his hand from my shoulder and pushed me away a bit.

"Not with you, idiot!"

"Ok, good. I don't want to have to explain something like that to Rosalie."

I snorted.

"Who?" He asked.

"What?"

"Who are you in love with?"

"Can you... keep a secret?"

"You know I can. If it's serious enough." He chuckled.

"Carlisle." I said it softly.

Emmett seemed to do a double take.

"The old man?" He asked.

I looked at him like he was stupid. He shut his mouth, which was hanging open in awe.

"You mean it?"

"Yes, Emmett."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why are you in love with Carlisle?"

"Why should I tell you?"

"Did you guys... make out or something?"

"No, Emmett."

"Then how did you know?"

I told him about the dream.

"That explains a whole lot."

"Shut up, Emmett."

I stood and walked over to the creek, sticking my feet in the water. I felt my foot touch something smooth, and reached my hand in.

"Erm... Bella, I wouldn't do that. People throw stuff in there from upstream, and it gets stuck in this part of the creek..." Emmett cautioned.

"Ow!" I shrieked and jerked my arm up.

As my arm came up, the long piece of glass sliced it. Deep enough for my blood to start gushing out and turning the water around me a dark crimson color that made my stomach churn.

"Bella! Great. Your lucky I'm not hungry. Well... I am now." Emmett said, aggravated.

Emmett took his sweatshirt off, and then the blue T-shirt under it. He carefully wrapped my arm with the T-Shirt and then picked me up. "Not one word about this conversation." I said faintly as he nodded in agreement. We were back In the house in a flash.

"I smell blood. What happened?" Carlisle asked as he appeared at the bottom of the stairs.

"Bella sliced her other arm. Again."

"Bring her to the kitchen. I'll stitch it up." Carlisle chuckled.

I started getting dizzy. The smell of my blood clung to the air as Emmett, Jasper and Esme went outside to go join Rosalie and Alice. Jasper was out before I even came in, though.

"So, what caused this one?" Carlisle asked.

"Put my hand in the water to grab a rock, a broken beer bottle or something sliced me." I muttered.

"At least it wasn't another accident with Jasper. He was pretty mad about it last time."

I was sitting up on the kitchen counter, my arm stretched out a bit so Carlisle could stitch it up. He was standing across from me, his face wasn't too far away from mine as he concentrated. I looked at him as he spoke, as a distraction. I couldn't help from remembering the dream.

"How's the hospital been going?" I asked.

"Quite slow. But I suppose that's a good thing." He grinned.

"Yeah, you wouldn't want an influenza going around..." I bit my lip, remembering Edward.

"Bella..." Carlisle started to say.

"Yeah?" I asked.

He glanced up at me and stopped stitching my arm up. His arm was resting on mine. My heart skipped a couple beats.

"Nothing." He looked back down and started again.

After a few moments of awkward silence, he spoke again.

"Looks like your going to have a scar to match the other now, huh?"

"Yeah. That really sucks." I looked at the other scar, which was just a long pink line now.

Another awkward pause.

"What was that about, yesterday? You were mumbling... my name in your sleep." He took a breath between almost every word.

I froze. I didn't want to tell him, but I had no excuses.

Carlisle finished the last stitch and cleaned everything up. I stayed on the counter, watching him. He grabbed my hand and shocked me or something, because we both jerked our hands away. I looked up to him, his eyes were watching me steadily.

"I... was running from Edward. But it when I got a close look, it wasn't exactly... Edward."

"Who was it then?" He asked after a minute or two passed.

"You." I whispered so low that Carlisle had to lean in a bit to hear it.

He looked at me for a long moment as I watched him.

"Well, that's a little... different."

"Yeah." I sighed.

"Esme, Jasper and I were getting ready to go hunt, but I was just going to tag along. You can probably tell by my eyes that I don't exactly need to go."

I nodded.

"So I'll keep you some company." He said.

"Well... What would you like to do?" He asked after awhile.

"No more movies," I laughed. "But anything your up to is fine."

"Hmm... What about a game of Monopoly? I've got an original version in my study."

"Original? Whoa. That must be worth... a lot."

"It was actually the fifth made. I got lucky." He smiled.

I followed him to his study. He had one worn out game of monopoly sitting on an ottoman, right above a newer version.

"Why have two?" I asked.

"Emmett gets very competitive... he breaks things sometimes." He chuckled.

"Are we going to play in here?"

"Sure, we can set it up on the ground, if you like. We could play at the desk, but it's a little too small for the board to fit on."

We set the game up, I told Carlisle to be banker. He would be much faster. Even if I did get an A on all of my math related exams.

"Since I'm banker, you can go first." He said.

I took the dice and rolled. To my unusual luck, I got six. After cheering to myself for a moment I moved the small metal iron six spaces.

"I'll buy it." I said, still happy about my roll as I handed six hundred monopoly dollars to Carlisle.

After an hour, we quit. The game was getting a little old and we both knew that Carlisle would win. I lifted my head up and grinned at him. He smiled too as he put the lid on the box. We both stood and I watched as he positioned the board in the right spot and then walked over to the door. He turned and waited on me. I walked to the door, but tripped on my own feet on the way, landing right on Carlisle. He grabbed my elbows and pulled me up a bit. Our eyes were about three inches away, our noses touching. I gasped. He quickly pushed me back a bit as Alice appeared behind us.

"Carlisle, Me and Esme were talking," She said seriously. "And we think it's time for Esme and I to go on a girls vacation. And Bella, if she wants to tag along."

"Erm, I would love to, Alice. But I know that all you two are going to do is shop. So I'm out."

"Sure! Where do you have in mind?" Carlisle asked.

"We were thinking of Paris, maybe. I haven't been there in _forever_."

She made it sound dramatic, but I knew she had gone there about a year and a half ago.

"Alright. You two can go any time, it's fine with me." He said.

"Esme, go ahead and confirm the tickets for tonight!" Alice called as she ran down the steps. Carlisle rolled his eyes along with me. That was when we heard a crash.

"Bella's going to kill you." I heard Jasper say from my room.

"No she's not. What damage can she do? Put a dent in _my_ bed? Heck, Me and rose already did that a million times. That's why we had to throw it out" Emmett laughed.

I stormed off, along with Carlisle, into my room. My bed frame had fallen through the massive window and into the woods.

"Emmett!" I yelled as I walked over to punch him. He didn't even flinch.

Carlisle chuckled a little and said something about calling to get a new window installed.

"You jerk! Now I can't sleep in here! You know how cold it it's been!"

"Hey, calm down! You can sleep on.. well, wait. You've got the only bed in the house..."

"Exactly! Now I'll have to sleep on the couch!" I noticed that Jasper disappeared.

"What's that going to hurt you? Well.. besides back pains. But I've worn that couch in." He wagged his eyebrows.

"Emmett." I growled.

"Some people will be here to install a new window next week. They're booked for the rest of this week."

"Great. A whole week. Why did you knock it down, anyway?" I asked.

"Uh... Jazz and I were looking for a diary under the bed." He said. I knew he was lying.

I folded my arms.

"Well, I gotta go. Rose wants me."

"No I don't." Rosalie said from down the hallway.

"Yes you do." Emmett said as he walked into the room and slammed the door shut, rocking the whole house.

"Carlisle," Esme walked in with two suitcases In hand. "Alice and I are leaving. We'll be back in a week or two."

She leaned up to give him a hug, he gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"Come on, Esme!" Alice yelled.

"Coming!"

After Carlisle left I put on my pajamas and walked downstairs to try to get some sleep while Emmett migrated down to the other side of the sofa to watch ESPN.


	3. The End

3. The End

It was about six in the morning, Carlisle was sitting next to me on the couch as we watched Emmett and Jasper play chess. There were already a bundle of broken pieces strewn on the ground by Emmett. Jasper had his lined up in a neat row. He stared at Emmett and I saw the tight muscles in Emmett's arms suddenly relax.

"We'll settle this outside." Emmett growled as Jasper knocked over Emmett's last piece.

They ran outside – Emmett chasing Jasper – and fought. Carlisle and I cleaned up the mess and then got back on the couch. They had disappeared deep into the woods. I saw a tree topple down across from the river. Carlisle turned to me as I lay my head back on the couch, my eyes drooping. I fell asleep in an instant.

The small hand on the clock had moved only by about a couple inches. I was asleep for five minutes. I realized what position I was in. I was curled up next to Carlisle, my arm was laying across his chest, my head on his shoulder. I looked up to see him grinning at me. His arm was wrapped around my back, but he released it so I could get up. I realized that I left a small puddle of drool on his sleeve.

"Sorry!" I said quickly.

He just laughed.

I ran up to my room and changed out of my pajamas, into a gray sweatshirt and jeans. As I walked back down the stairs, I missed a step and slid down. Carlisle appeared in front of me, a look of worry on his face. I smiled to let him know I was OK. His worried look suddenly disappeared into a grin. He held his hands out and I grabbed them. He pulled me up to him, so that our faces were an inch away. We leaned closer -

"Bella?" I jerked my eyes open as someone called my name.

The first thing I saw, past my fluttering eyelids, was Emmett's large hand right in front of my face.

"Yeah?" I muttered.

"You were like, yelling stuff or something. And I couldn't concentrate on my game." He said, a large pout forming on his face.

I muttered something that he probably heard, bur couldn't understand. After throwing my pillow and blanket into the linen closet I ran upstairs to get dressed, dressing in the same thing as I wore In my dream. Maybe my dream would come true...

But it didn't.

"Where's Carlisle?" I asked Emmett as I skipped down the stairs.

"Work. Some lady broke her neck or hip... something around that," I wondered how he could get a neck and a hip mixed up. "He had to go. And Jazz went off to hunt. One of his friends dropped by this morning, so he'll be out for awhile." Emmett clicked the mute button and waited for my response.

"Cool." I said.

I curled up in the couch by him and blindly watched the game. It was boring, even though Emmett was either pounding dents into the couch or yelling so hard it shook the house every few seconds.

"Dammit." He said.

"What?" I asked.

"The game's over. Gators lost." He flipped off the TV and slammed the remote down on the table.

"Oh." I muttered and leaned up.

"I'm going to go out for awhile... who's car can I borrow." I asked.

"Uh... Take the Volvo." He jerked his eyes to me. "If you don't mind."

"It's fine. I'll take it." I said and grabbed the car keys on the way out.

I hadn't been in the Volvo for awhile. A long while. His scent hit me hard, a tear almost sprang up in my eye. I shook it off. I was going to see Carlisle. I was going to tell him I had horrible headaches. It would give me a chance to see him, at the least.

I had parked right next to Carlisle's car, which was in the reserved spot for "Employee of the month". I wondered exactly how long he had held that position as I walked around the corner of the building and reached the door. Taking a deep breath, I walked in.

"I need to speak to Dr. Cullen." I said to the old lady behind the small counter.

"Sure thing, honey." She said between a spoonful of cottage cheese.

I peered to my left, Carlisle should appear from there any minute... she had already paged him... Ah. There he was. He had a brilliant smile on his face, but it faded a bit when he saw me.

"Isabella," I swayed at the way he said my name. "What's wrong?" He asked.

"I-I've been having headaches..." I said.

"Come with me..." He said.

I followed him to a room – which was obviously his office. He gestured to a chair as I walked in, gnawing on my lip. After I sat, he sat in the seat besides me but moved it around so he was facing me. I wondered why he didn't just sit in the large chair behind his desk.

"Headaches?" He asked me.

"I can't sleep." I blurted out.

"Bella, you were snoring last night." He chuckled a bit as my face burned with embarrassment.

"I-I mean... I've been having these dreams."

"Like the one you told me about?" He asked.

"Yes." My voice was small.

We sat In silence for a long, awkward moment.

"Bella, I-" He said before I interrupted him.

"Carlisle, it was never Edward. I loved you, and I do now. God, I'm such an idio-" I said.

"Finally." He whispered.

"What?" I shrieked.

"Bella, did Edward ever tell you about Alice's visions?" He asked.

"Some of them..."

"Well, the fifth vision he had didn't include him, honey. It was me. Me and you." He smiled a bit, reading the astonished expression on my face.

"B-But... Huh?" I asked and stood.

"Bella." He stood up to face me, his hands brushed the hair out of my face. "I love you."

I almost collapsed at this, I wasn't expecting it.

"I've wanted you since Alice had the vision years ago. She told me about it. I never told anyone the lust I had for you..." He shook his head. "I should have been there first."

"But... Esme?" I forced out.

"She thinks she's in love with me, Bella. Since the first time she saw me. You know how some of us have powers? And Esme... Well, she brought the ability to be passionate," I shook my head yes, indicating that I knew what he was talking about. "Well, she also brought her lust for me from her humanity. She thought she loved me, so that... feeling stayed with her. When Edward is the one she is supposed to be with."

"Huh?"

"Bella, you and I are meant to be." He whispered as his nose touched mine.

I gasped as his lips touched mine. He kissed me softly once, and then I wrapped my arms around his waist, pulling him closer. He seemed to growl as he leaned in to kiss me again. His arms wound around me and...

"Dr. Cullen to the ER!"

I jumped and he pulled back, still looking into my eyes.

"I'm sorry..." He said. "I'll make it up to you tonight."

He backed out of the room and I collapsed in the chair I had been sitting in before.

_What have I done_? I thought. _Was any of that real_?

I arrived back home to find a new window installed in my room, and the whole house rocking with Emmett's shouting as he watched another football game. I changed into some more comfortable clothes and curled up in my bed, falling asleep as my eyes shut.

"Bella?" Someone called.

I opened my eyes to see a stone hard neck. I was wrapped in Carlisle's arms, he was stroking my hair. I leaned up to be at the same eye-level as him. He smiled and leaned in, his nose skimmed my cheek. We started at where we had left off in the hospital.

The next week went by, Carlisle and I were successful at hiding the truth from Jasper and Emmett. We didn't really talk to each other while they were at the house. Only the occasional glance at each other. I blushed scarlet every time I remembered the night after Carlisle had explained everything to me. Was it all a joke? This had to be some very long dream. I had to be dreaming. None of this was real. None of it.

Esme and Alice were coming back in two days. I didn't know what Carlisle and I were going to do, maybe we would go and hide. Go somewhere far away. I sighed and focused my attention to the clouds passing by above me. It had been fairly nice outside today, and I was wondering around. I didn't realize that Emmett and Jasper were hunting. Nobody had told me, and that's exactly how my life was about to end.

I heard a loud growl come somewhere from behind the trees. Someone was there. I gasped but then shook it off, It was probably just Emmett fooling around with me again, trying to get me to run and scream like a little girl.

But I was dead wrong.

Jasper lurked out of the trees, large black eyes staring right at my neck. Where the hot blood was probably pulsing through, tempting him. I knew I couldn't run. I couldn't do anything.

"Jasper. No, please. You don't want to do this." I said calmly.

"Oh, Bella. I've wanted this since you came to us." He said in a deep voice.

I stuttered something that wasn't understandable and he lurched forward. His teeth sank into my neck and I screamed, feeling the venom take over.

"Jasper!" Carlisle called from behind us.

My body went limp as Jasper was pried away from me. I screamed as the fire rippled through my body, I would rather have my legs snapped a thousand times by James again, anything but this awful pain.

"It's too late. The venom can't be sucked out." Carlisle choked out.

I didn't realize that they had carried me into my room. My body was twitching, aching, and I was screaming. I squeezed my eyes shut and waited for the unbearable pain to end.

I lay there for a couple moments, making sure the pain was over. My jaws were locked together, so the screams wouldn't escape. I didn't want Carlisle to know how much pain I was in. When it was all done, I couldn't feel a bit of fire, I opened my eyes. Everything looked so... _different_. I could see every color glittered in the room, even another I had never noticed before. Carlisle realized I was up, because he was standing above me.

"Bella..." He said.

I stood. I felt different... lighter? I felt more durable, more strong. And then I breathed. My throat burned, I coughed and sputtered. A sweet, unbearable scent had hit me.

"It's humans. We'll get you out to hunt soon, honey." Carlisle smiled.

"How long..?" I asked, referring to how long I had been sleeping. My voice sounded different, clear.

"A couple days." He spoke. I looked at him.

I had thought he was beautiful with my dull human eyes... but I was wrong. He was more than that. There was no explanation for how he looked.

"Where is everyone?" I asked. They would probably be up here by now...

"Hunting. They didn't know you would wake up so soon... I told them to go ahead." He gave a faint smile.

I stepped forward, inches away from him. He wrapped his arms around me and leaned forward...

"I see you've found someone... else." Someone choked from the doorway.

I didn't realize anyone in the house. It was Edward. Edward was standing right in front of me, his deep golden eyes giving a penetrating gaze towards me and Carlisle.

"Edward..." I gasped.


	4. Willow

"You're... You're dead!" I screamed in horror.

"I never died." Edward said softly, his eyebrows twisting up in confusion.

"What happened, Edward?" Carlisle took a step back from me as he said this. I unwound my arms from his waist.

"You knew about this! You knew he wasn't dead!" I hissed to Carlisle – and the rest of the Cullens as they suddenly appeared.

"We knew nothing about this, Bella." Carlisle said.

I gave Alice a pained look as she hung her head. She still hadn't told me about _all_ of her visions.

"I hid in Canada for awhile, and then Alaska . Word spread that you had found someone else, but I didn't believe Tanya. Now that I see it's true... I guess I'll be going."

"No – Wait!" I called and reached for him.

Carlisle hesitated for a moment, I saw the look in his eyes. Would this mean that I would go back to Edward? Carlisle would go back to Esme and everything, besides me being immortal, be like it had before?

I bit my hard lip and stepped back. Edward's face showed no emotion now.

"What happened, Bella?" He asked me.

"I-I thought you were dead, Edward! You... went to volterra after I almost died!" I said.

Everyone, including Carlisle, had left. It was just Edward and I.

"Accident?" He asked.

"You didn't know?" I shrieked.

He gave me a blank expression.

"I ran my truck into a tree. Carlisle told me you knew, and you went to Volterra to die."

"Oh. I see that you've became quite... attracted to Carlisle." He said in disgust.

I realized what he was thinking. Carlisle was his Dad.

I didn't say anything. In truth, I didn't know _what_ to say.

"You don't want me anymore then?" He said. My thoughts seeped back to when I had said the same thing, when I was human.

"I... don't know." I said.

I suddenly felt like a third wheel. What if Carlisle planned all of this? Was this some kind of sick, unbelievable joke?

"I guess I'll go..." He said and looked to the floor.

I suddenly made a decision. I was a vampire now, I could go out on my own. Nothing could kill me unless they put up a _very_ good fight. I wouldn't have to deal with any of this nonsense.

"No, Edward. I'm leaving. It's your turn to pretend that _I never existed_." I ran over to my closet and pulled out the small suitcase which held a wad of cash that Carlisle had gave me for emergencies. I threw some clothes in, thinking about where I was going to go. Alaska would probably be best, there wasn't too much sun...

"Goodbye." I flung my purse over my shoulder, grabbed my suitcase, and sped out of the room.

I stopped in La Push – not realizing where I was – to stuff my clothes in my purse. I didn't want to lug the suitcase around, and my purse was big enough to hold everything I had thrown in it. What I wasn't expecting was an old friend. Someone I hadn't seen in years.

"Bella." Someone spoke.

Jacob Black was standing a couple feet away from me, pained expression on his face.

"Jake." I said. He cringed at my new voice.

"The bloodsuckers changed you." He grumbled.

"I got attacked, okay? I either died or became this." I said sharply.

"You could have returned my calls." He said after a long moment of penetrating gazes.

"I put my phone out of service."

Another couple of minutes passed. I blinked. My throat was scorching, I needed something. Weren't there any animals around here – besides Jacob?

"So... I heard that you were with the blond." He mumbled.

"How did you hear that?" I snapped.

"Word gets around in this town, Bells. Someone was probably eavesdropping." He shrugged.

I grumbled something about idiot nurses while he grinned goofily.

"There's my Bella." He laughed.

"Shuddup." If I was human, my cheeks would be stained red.

"So... Moving out?" He motioned to the empty suitcase besides my foot.

"Yeah. Edward came back." I hissed.

"What? He's... dead!" He said.

"That was my response, too."

"So... why are you leaving?" He was clearly confused.

"I think everybody lied to me, Jake," I said softly. "Edward knew nothing about my accident. He never went to Volterra. He was with the Denali coven."

"Lying, filthy bloodsuckers," He hissed. I ignored the bloodsucker remark, even though I was one also. "You cold have stayed with me."

"I know. I didn't want any of my depression rubbed off on you, Jake. I mean... with your Dad... you seemed upset enough."

I looked sideways, not wanting to talk about it.

"Where are you going to go now?" He said softly.

"Alaska. I need to hunt, Jake. My throat is killing me."

"Oh."

He walked forward and wrapped his steaming hot arms around me, cringing at my coldness.

"You can always come back to me. Vampire or not." He whispered into my hair.

"I love you, Jake." I smiled sideways as I pulled away.

"Love you too, Bells."

He shifted into a wolf and then disappeared into the trees. I stood there for a long moment before making my way up to Alaska. It wouldn't take me too long to get there.

I reached the border that night, but kept running. It was snowing hard outside, a huge blizzard that iced everything in it's path. I stopped up by one of the signs along the road to figure out where I was. There was a big, twisted lump set alongside the road. I could almost swear I heard someone crying and calling "Mommy, mommy! Daddy!" Even with my excellent eyes, I couldn't make out the heap. I fished around in my purse and pulled out a small flashlight.

Snow was falling slower now, I could see it swirling around in the wind. I could also see big red stains blotted round the heap. I breathed in. Blood. Someone had crashed, they were dead. The smell ripped through my body, venom appeared in my throat. I threw the flashlight down and twisted the metal heaps off of the two lifeless bodies. They still had a bit of blood left in them, just enough to satisfy my hunger. I felt my razor-sharp teeth sink into one of the bodies hands, the blood entered my mouth almost s quick as I sighed. I wanted more, a lot more. The body was dry of blood soon, so I leaned over and pressed my mouth to the other bodies hand. This blood wasn't as good as the other, and it was hairy. I was grossed out for a moment, but then got wrapped up in the taste. This was probably a man, he had been drunk while driving. That would explain the bitter-tasting blood. He was dry of blood soon. I regained all of my senses and jumped up to leave.

I remembered the voice I had heard earlier.

"Mom?" The small voice trembled.

I moved more metal out of the way and grabbed my flashlight which was laying besides my foot. Shining the light on the spot the voice had come from, I saw a small girl. She was probably around eleven. A huge scar held dried blood on her face, just above her eyebrow. I frowned and opened my mouth to speak.

"Are you god?" She asked.

I almost burst out laughing. She thought she was dead.

"No, honey. But I can help you."

I was glad that I wasn't hungry anymore... and surprised that my senses weren't out of control like Edward had said they were for everyone else.

I grabbed her hand and yanked her up, not realizing how tall she was. She had been huddled up in the backseat of the small car, but now she was as tall as me. She looked about 15 years old now, as a bit of light shown on her face.

"What's your name?" I asked.

"Willow." She whimpered.

"Were these your parents?" I asked.

"Yes." Tears streaked down her face.

I peered up at the huge, bent sign. There was a hospital just ten miles down the road, she needed to get her head stitched up... but I wasn't sure if I should risk that.

"What did you do to my parents?" She asked.

"I-I was checking to see if they were really dead." I muttered.

"Climb on my back." I said after she gave me an odd expression.

"What?"

"Just do it."

I grabbed my purse and gripped her arms, so she wouldn't fall off, as I decided where to go. The hospital wouldn't be a good idea, there was far too much blood. I didn't want to tempt myself, Willow's scent was already making my throat burn a bit. I didn't understand why I wasn't going crazy for blood.

I did know one doctor. All I would have to do is run in, have Carlisle stitch her up, and then leave. Simple as that.

We arrived in Forks two hours later. Willow had fallen asleep, I had to listen carefully to make sure she hadn't died because of the gash on her head. I ran as fast as I could, so I could save her, but slowed down once I reached the Cullens house. It was about seven in the morning, I could see Edward up in his old room – which had been turned into mine. He was holding something, peering at it. A second later he was staring right at me.

He opened the back door and jumped out, landing next to me.

"Where's Carlisle?" I muttered.

"Study. I'll get him." He said.

I noticed how he didn't look at me. He looked everywhere but my face – at Willow, in the trees... he acted like I wasn't there. Wow. I must have really hurt his feelings.

"Bella?" Carlisle asked.

He was probably hoping that I was coming back for him. I was still pissed at him, he probably made up the whole thing. I wondered what Esme thought. She obviously knew about Carlisle and I.

"She needs help. Her name's Willow. Saved her from a car crash not too far into Alaska."

"Hand her over." Carlisle said.

I handed her to him and stood back up straight. He stood there to stare at me, smiling faintly. I couldn't help but to have the urge to walk over and grasp him... but I didn't.

"Mind if I come in while I wait for her to get stitched up? I don't know what I'm going to do with her, Carlisle. And I don't want to leave her with you. Not with Jasper." I looked sideways at the ground as I spoke.

"No problem. Stay as long as you need," He smiled. "Er... you might want to stay away from Esme and Jasper. Jasper's mad at himself for attacking you, and Esme's got mixed feelings about both you and I."

"No problem." I said faintly and waited for him to leave.

I had found myself in the garage, with Emmett. He was the only of the Cullens who didn't mind being around me. Alice was shamed because she didn't share her visions, Rosalie had always had problems with me, Esme was avoiding me... along with Edward, Carlisle was probably trying to make up with Esme by not speaking to me, and finally, Jasper was mad with himself.

I was glad Emmett was quick to forgive.

"So... Is Esme pissed at me?" I asked him.

"Nah, she's mad at Carlisle." He spoke from under the jeep.

"Oh."

"So, what are you gonna do with the girl?" He asked.

"Willow. Right. Er, I'm not too sure."

"Rose thinks you should leave her here."

"Why?" I said as he rolled out from under the car.

"You know how badly she wants to have a kid." He raised his eyebrows.

"We'll see." I muttered.

I sat there for a few minutes as he walked over to check Rosalie's convertible.

"So, where are you going to stay tonight?" He asked.

"Seeing that most of everyone is mad at me, I;m going to go stay with Jake."

"The mutt?" He asked in confusion.

"Yeah. I ran into him right before I left. He said I could stay with him whenever. He's pretty much got the house to himself, so there's enough room for two more people."

He smiled, getting ready to say something, but Willow appeared.

"Hey. You ready to go?"

"I guess... where are we going?" She asked.

"An old friend of mine."

I walked up to Jacob's red faded door and knocked on it, careful not to rip it in half.

"Bella!" He said as he opened the door.

"Mind if we stay here tonight?" I asked.

"Sure. Wait... we?" He asked.

"Yeah. Willow and I. Found her today, she was going to die... but I saved her." I smiled.

He didn't notice. His eyes were set off in the distance, jaw swung open. Looking at Willow like he was seeing sunlight for the first time.

I almost burst out laughing.

"Oh my god, Jake! You imprinted on her!" I giggled.

"Willow..." He said.

I pushed past him and walked into the house. He decided to go freak her out or something, because as soon as I turned around, he was walking up to her. I looked around the small room. It wasn't too messy, Jake was keeping it clean. That was good.

I wasn't too sure about him though. He still had that odd expression on his face as he followed Willow up to the doorstep like a lost puppy.


End file.
